I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
