I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize