my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
