I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So many bounce houses so little time
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
