I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think your dad took our porno
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
