Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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