No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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