One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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