she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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