OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
