but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
