I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
