We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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