How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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