well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
