To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
