ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
