Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
