Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
