Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
