My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
