Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
