Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
