Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
