I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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