yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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