yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize