Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you would pick up someone in the library
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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