I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize