I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
