I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize