I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
