:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
