The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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