Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
