your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
