he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
