There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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