smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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