Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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