I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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