I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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