So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
