What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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