We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
