Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
