She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
