I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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