is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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