I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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