Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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