She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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