Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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