Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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