he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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