Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
