Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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