now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
