Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  My sheets look like a crime scene.

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  (858): My sheets look like a crime scene. http://tfl.nu/7f9h
  Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (982)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6335) Bad night (749)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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  (410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad
  Replies (25) Good night (4347) Bad night (772)
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  (562): View more from California

  not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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  (562): not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it. http://tfl.nu/xhfr
  Replies (24) Good night (4177) Bad night (1124)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.

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  (215): you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger. http://tfl.nu/jxnv
  Replies (16) Good night (3470) Bad night (3792)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it

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  (781): if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it http://tfl.nu/706q
  Replies (4) Good night (3886) Bad night (1705)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.

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  (269): I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/pf1i
  Replies (6) Good night (2855) Bad night (831)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

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  (724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex. http://tfl.nu/opu2
  Replies (11) Good night (3950) Bad night (779)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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  (859): apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us. http://tfl.nu/vs1x
  Replies (18) Good night (3501) Bad night (752)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night

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  (210): If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/5uhb
  Replies (4) Good night (2118) Bad night (577)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (665) Bad night (1694)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.

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  (701): It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request. http://tfl.nu/qxm8
  Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (658)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.

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  (989): Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing. http://tfl.nu/a55j
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (208)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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  (318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea
  Replies (10) Good night (1654) Bad night (343)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him

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  (646): How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him http://tfl.nu/cz2z
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (258)

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