Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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(201): View more from New Jersey

it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships

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(613): View more from Ontario

i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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(682): View more from Texas

While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

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(954): View more from Florida

She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.

(515): View more from Iowa

That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.

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(477): View more from

I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me

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(512): View more from Texas

My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"

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