nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.