is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life