You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
