Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.