Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".

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  (818): The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp". http://tfl.nu/1x9v
  Replies (17) Good night (3128) Bad night (1078)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

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  (540): ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret. http://tfl.nu/thv3
  Replies (18) Good night (2714) Bad night (982)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.

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  (518): He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/dgde
  Replies (15) Good night (681) Bad night (3311)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.

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  (860): You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people. http://tfl.nu/iay5
  Replies (17) Good night (1221) Bad night (4498)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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  (610): my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park http://tfl.nu/hm3c
  Replies (23) Good night (1344) Bad night (5432)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2972) Bad night (1537)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..

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  (303): That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end.. http://tfl.nu/ockn
  Replies (19) Good night (634) Bad night (1581)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now

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  (219): I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now http://tfl.nu/0dlv
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (749)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.

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  (405): I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it. http://tfl.nu/f6bj
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (909)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?

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  (662): Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you? http://tfl.nu/ngi1
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (377)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while

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  (978): i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while http://tfl.nu/owfg
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (431)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?

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  (217): Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter? http://tfl.nu/zu2a
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (353)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

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  (816): I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants http://tfl.nu/igf3
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (361)
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  (585): View more from New York

  There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.

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  (585): There should be a Doritos delivery van or something. http://tfl.nu/p6lg
  Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (127)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

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  (856): You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off" http://tfl.nu/cdng
  Replies (3) Good night (213) Bad night (423)

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