Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight, http://tfl.nu/r6s4
  Replies (11) Good night (3349) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage. http://tfl.nu/uh3k
  Replies (14) Good night (5761) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs. http://tfl.nu/7j97
  Replies (25) Good night (5755) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go http://tfl.nu/5ipt
  Replies (2) Good night (2922) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night. http://tfl.nu/u2mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2091) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1258) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/a8sv
  Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard? http://tfl.nu/j2bg
  Replies (16) Good night (776) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic. http://tfl.nu/4fes
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one http://tfl.nu/3ht8
  Replies (13) Good night (450) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs. http://tfl.nu/jalq
  Replies (11) Good night (451) Bad night (1903)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah http://tfl.nu/ef97
  Replies (9) Good night (1624) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon http://tfl.nu/dflk
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco. http://tfl.nu/7zc7
  Replies (6) Good night (1061) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now" http://tfl.nu/z261
  Replies (6) Good night (2141) Bad night (621)

Randomize